What are Boundaries
Clear rules or limits that a person sets in order to protect their physical, emotional, and mental well-being.
What is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
A form of talk therapy that helps individuals recognise and change negative thought patterns and behaviours.
What is Cognitive Dissonance
The mental discomfort experienced when someone holds two conflicting beliefs or when their experiences don’t align with their understanding of reality. In the context of narcissistic abuse, victims may struggle to reconcile the narcissist’s charming facade with their abusive behaviour.
What is Co-dependency
A relationship dynamic where one person sacrifices their own needs to meet the needs of another, often to their detriment. Codependent individuals may struggle with boundaries, making them vulnerable to narcissistic abuse.
What is Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD)
A condition that can develop after prolonged exposure to repeated trauma, such as narcissistic abuse. Symptoms include anxiety, flashbacks, emotional dysregulation, and difficulty trusting others.
What is Devaluation
After the love-bombing stage, the narcissist begins to devalue their target. This can include criticism, passive-aggressive behaviour, belittling, and other forms of emotional abuse intended to erode the victim’s self-esteem.
What do you mean by Discard?
The phase in a narcissistic relationship when the narcissist suddenly and coldly ends the relationship or pushes the victim away. The discard can be devastating for the victim, leaving them feeling abandoned and confused.
What is Emotional Abuse
A form of abuse where the perpetrator manipulates, humiliates, or controls their victim through emotional means. Emotional abuse can include criticism, gaslighting, devaluation, and withholding affection.
What is the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
Also known as "tapping," EFT is a form of alternative therapy that involves tapping on specific acupuncture points while focusing on negative emotions. It helps survivors release emotional pain and trauma stored in the body.
What is meant by Empathy
The ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Narcissists typically lack empathy, which is a key characteristic of their abusive behaviour. Conversely, survivors often need to relearn self-empathy as part of their healing process.
What is Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)
A form of therapy designed to help individuals process and heal from traumatic experiences, including narcissistic abuse. EMDR involves guided eye movements while the survivor recalls distressing memories, allowing the brain to reprocess trauma in a less emotionally charged way.
What are Flying Monkeys
Individuals manipulated by the narcissist to do their bidding, often by spreading misinformation, gossip, or even attacking the narcissist's victim on their behalf. Flying monkeys may not realise they’re being used or that the narcissist’s version of events is false.
What is Gaslighting
A form of psychological manipulation where the narcissist causes the victim to doubt their own memory, perception, or sanity. The goal of gaslighting is to undermine the victim’s sense of reality, leaving them dependent on the narcissist’s version of events.
What is meant by Golden Child and the Scapegoat
One of the common tactics employed by narcissists in families is triangulation, where they pit family members against one another to maintain control. This often manifests in the form of a "golden child" and a "scapegoat" dynamic.
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The Golden Child: This child is idealised by the narcissistic parent and is often showered with praise and attention. They are expected to uphold the narcissist’s self-image and reflect their superiority. While the golden child may receive more affection, they also suffer from immense pressure to live up to unrealistic expectations and may struggle with forming their own identity.
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The Scapegoat: The scapegoat, on the other hand, is blamed for everything that goes wrong in the family. They are often the target of the narcissist’s anger and criticism. This child may develop low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression as a result of being constantly devalued and invalidated.
What is Grandiosity
A hallmark of narcissistic behaviour (can be harder to identify with some forms of narcissism), grandiosity refers to an unrealistic sense of superiority and an overestimation of one’s abilities or accomplishments. It often includes fantasies of power, success, and attractiveness.
What is the Grey Rock Method
A coping strategy used to deal with narcissists by becoming as uninteresting and emotionally unresponsive as possible. The goal is to avoid providing the narcissist with any emotional "fuel" or narcissistic supply.
What is Hoovering
A tactic used by narcissists to "suck" the victim back into the relationship after a discard phase. They may use flattery, promises of change, financial or emotional manipulation to regain control over the victim.
What is Hypervigilance
A state of heightened alertness and anxiety, often experienced by survivors of narcissistic abuse. The survivor may constantly feel on edge, anticipating further emotional harm or manipulation from the narcissist.
What is Inner Child Healing
A therapeutic approach that focuses on addressing childhood wounds and traumas that may have contributed to unhealthy relationship patterns, including those with narcissists. Healing the inner child can help survivors build self-compassion and self-worth.
What is Love Bombing
An early stage of a narcissistic relationship where the narcissist showers their target with excessive attention, affection, and admiration to win their trust and affection. This is often a tactic used to manipulate and eventually control the other person.
What is meant by Low Contact
For situations where No Contact is not feasible (e.g., co-parenting), low contact involves limiting interactions with the narcissist to the bare minimum, keeping conversations brief, factual, and unemotional.
What is Narcissism
A personality trait marked by self-centeredness, arrogance, and a lack of empathy. While everyone has some narcissistic tendencies, extreme narcissism can be harmful to others, especially in relationships.
What is a Narcissistic Enabler
A person who supports or allows the narcissist’s harmful behaviour, either knowingly or unknowingly. Enablers may excuse the narcissist’s actions, help them manipulate others, or simply fail to hold them accountable.
What is Narcissistic Injury
A term describing the intense feelings of humiliation, inadequacy, or rejection a narcissist experiences when their inflated self-image is threatened. This injury often leads to narcissistic rage, where the narcissist reacts with hostility or aggression.
What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
A mental health disorder characterised by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.
What is Narcissistic Rage
An intense, disproportionate outburst of anger, aggression, or passive-aggressive behaviour in response to a perceived threat or slight to the narcissist's ego. Narcissistic rage can be triggered by criticism, rejection, or failure.
What is Narcissistic Supply
The constant need for attention, validation, admiration, or emotional energy that a narcissist seeks from others. Narcissistic supply is necessary to sustain their inflated self-image. People who provide this supply are often seen as mere extensions of the narcissist’s self-worth.
What is meant by No Contact
A complete and total break in communication with the narcissist, used by survivors as a way to protect themselves from further manipulation or abuse. This includes blocking the narcissist on all communication platforms.
What is Self care
The practice of caring for, respecting, and valuing oneself. For survivors of narcissistic abuse, cultivating self care is a crucial step toward healing and building healthier relationships.
What is Somatic Experiencing
A body-centred therapeutic approach that helps survivors of trauma, including narcissistic abuse, by focusing on physical sensations and how the body stores trauma. It encourages the release of pent-up energy and emotional pain.
What are Toxic Behaviours
Toxic behaviours are patterns of actions, words, or attitudes that consistently harm, manipulate, or undermine others. In the context of narcissistic abuse, these can include gaslighting, blame-shifting, controlling behaviours, silent treatment, and emotional invalidation. Such behaviours erode a person's confidence, distort their reality, and create an unhealthy dynamic where power and control are misused. Recognising toxic behaviours is essential to breaking the cycle of abuse and reclaiming your emotional wellbeing.
What is a Trauma Bond
An emotional attachment formed between a victim and their abuser through cycles of abuse, devaluation, and intermittent kindness. Trauma bonds make it difficult for victims to leave the abusive relationship despite its toxicity.
What is Triangulation
A manipulation tactic where the narcissist involves a third party (another person or group) to create conflict, competition, or jealousy between others. This allows the narcissist to maintain control over relationships by keeping people off-balance.
What are Triggers
Triggers are external cues—such as sounds, smells, words, behaviours, or environments—that subconsciously remind a person of past trauma, causing a strong emotional or physiological response. In narcissistic abuse recovery, triggers often stem from previous experiences of manipulation, control, or emotional harm. They can lead to feelings of anxiety, fear, dissociation, or overwhelm. Understanding your personal triggers is a key part of the healing process, helping you build awareness, set boundaries, and respond with self-compassion instead of reactivity.
What is meant by Wounds
In narcissistic abuse recovery, wounds refer to the deep emotional injuries caused by repeated manipulation, neglect, invalidation, or betrayal, often over long periods of time. These wounds can affect a person’s sense of self-worth, trust in others, ability to set boundaries, and overall emotional resilience. Unlike physical wounds, emotional wounds may not be visible but can profoundly impact thoughts, behaviours, and relationships. Healing these wounds involves recognising their origins, processing the pain, and rebuilding a stronger, more empowered sense of self.
